A few posts ago, at or just after Christmas, I wrote that I could not open my Christmas card from Ron. It remains unopened. I just could not bear to open the last Christmas card I would ever receive from him.
Ron's daughter Kirsten, a few days ago, asked Ron if he wanted her to pick up a Valentines card for me. It was established what type of message it should read. Kirsten purchased three for Ron to choose from. So, today is Valentine's Day from Ron to me.
Kirsten and Meghan (our daughters) asked Ron if he wanted to give me the card. He said yes but know that this was a sedated yes. I was summoned to his room. Alone I went. Ron asked me what day it was and I said February 10 so then he made a mistake. I noticed three cards in his lap and I asked if he was going to give me a card today and he said no, I changed my mind. Eventually this was mentioned to Kirsten so she explained.
When Kirsten purchased the three cards for Ron to choose from, he decided that he would give me all three. All three so that I could open one now - knowing that it would not be the last - and two more to open whenever I wanted. I am happy to write that I did open the card but I did so with endless tears. The other two, I have tucked away and well... you know the rest.
Ron had an outing today. He said he wanted to go for a drive and that he wanted his friend Bill to take him. OK, I said. So we bundled Ron up, sunglasses and all. Bill and Ron drove off in the Volvo. Bill said they went parking on Lochside Drive. Ron got bored and ordered coffee. Starbucks was the next stop. Then, Bill made the mistake of following Ron's instructions to a marina and they got lost. Eventually they made it back to the hospital with Ron having a good time and Bill now has some stories to tell.
As Ron's medications have been increased significantly, he was soon down for the count and sleeping. I am thinking that perhaps the medications had not been increased enough and we mistook anxiety for anxiety but should have translated it to pain. Often in the room Ron did not know what he needed to be comfortable - in bed, in the recliner, in the wheelchair, in the sun room etc.
While Ron had a busy day, the reality is that he is changing physically and drastically. I will not describe the changes but we see the change with each day and almost with each breath.
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