Let's say, I knew it was coming. All the signs were there, it was just a matter of when Ron would say or do something.
First let me say that Ron has the most wonderful, caring and conscientious doctor. I fear writing her name in case you all want her as your doctor. Andrea Lewis has been there for Ron ever since cancer was diagnosed.
In the last few days (and I mean few), I have noticed indications of a repeat of August 19 - the day Ron first had his lung drained - or tapped as the doctors would say. I sensed that Ron's lung was filling again. He did too. It was something that neither expressed to the other. Didn't need to. I knew that Ron would call Andrea when he needed to. That day was today.
It has been a short two months since the last tap. Tomorrow Ron goes to San Pen Hospital (the best little hospital on the south island). If you can say fortunately, fortunately this time we were able to make an appointment. They call it a slow drain. Ron will be at the hospital for several hours as removing the fluid slower rather than faster is less dangerous.
Right now, we are not sure what all this means. We are disappointed it is happening so soon. This is the second time and we wonder when it will be the third time. When it happens again, we are of the understanding there will be some options offered to control the fluid in the pleura.
Ron was exhausted by the time we got home from the doctor office and hospital for x-rays. Tomorrow will be another exhausting day. For all of you who know Ron, he didn't even finish his glass of wine!! No, I cannot believe it either. Having said that, he and Winston are snuggled on the bed having a good rest. It has been a few nights since he has slept well.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I Didn't Know
When I started this blog for me and Ron, I had no idea what it would look like: daily writings, deepest thought, personal feelings, sad, inspirational or highs or lows. I have taken a moment to read what has been written so far.
I can tell you that when I run, I think. When I think I cry. Also when I think, quotable thoughts pop into my head; thoughts that I should be recording so that I can share with you. Alas, I am running and I just keep on running as my reflective moments fade.
I can also tell you that when I am in a reflective and writing mood, more times than not, I choose to postpone writing simply because the emotion is over powering. Often I begin to weep. I choose to wait for the moment when I feel stronger.
Where is all this leading? If you haven't figured it out by now, Ron and I do not share every sentiment or emotion with you. What has evolved is an abstract; a smattering of this and a bit of that. While the postings are chronological, the information is not. It is what I, or Ron, feel needs to be expressed.
The goal of the blog may, conceivably, be for you to be inspired to live your dreams and live life to the fullest. We are not the first to be challenged with cancer, regrettably we will not be the last. Be adventurous, be happy.
I can tell you that when I run, I think. When I think I cry. Also when I think, quotable thoughts pop into my head; thoughts that I should be recording so that I can share with you. Alas, I am running and I just keep on running as my reflective moments fade.
I can also tell you that when I am in a reflective and writing mood, more times than not, I choose to postpone writing simply because the emotion is over powering. Often I begin to weep. I choose to wait for the moment when I feel stronger.
Where is all this leading? If you haven't figured it out by now, Ron and I do not share every sentiment or emotion with you. What has evolved is an abstract; a smattering of this and a bit of that. While the postings are chronological, the information is not. It is what I, or Ron, feel needs to be expressed.
The goal of the blog may, conceivably, be for you to be inspired to live your dreams and live life to the fullest. We are not the first to be challenged with cancer, regrettably we will not be the last. Be adventurous, be happy.
Monday, November 1, 2010
What Is In A Touch...
Next time you are walking with your loved one, simply reach out for their hand. Then ask yourself what does this mean.
For Ron and I, we have always held hands. The first time we held hands we felt very connected - and still do. We will, on occasion, reminisce about that first hand holding experience. Back then, at the ripe old age of 39, it had the power of making me feel youthful, almost teenager-ish.
Today, what does holding Ron's hand mean to me. When Ron reaches out and gently takes my hand and links his fingers with mine, he is saying thank you for being my friend, thank you for being here with me, thank you for being my wife. He is also saying I will be here for you as long as possible; we will get through this together; and he is saying I love you so very much.
When I reach for Ron's hand and hold it tight I am telling him I love you will all my heart; I am here for you; we will make this journey together - hand in hand; I will support you with all my strength, heart and soul.
A peck on the cheek, a hug or simple hand holding, they all take us to the foundation of our relationship; friendship, trust, respect, honesty and unconditional love for one another.
Above all, there is a healthy dose of laughter. We laugh in the galley, we laugh on deck, we laugh in the bedroom. I don't think there is not a place where we have not found reason or conversation to make us laugh. Quite often it is at or about one another...
Never underestimate the power of a loving touch.
For Ron and I, we have always held hands. The first time we held hands we felt very connected - and still do. We will, on occasion, reminisce about that first hand holding experience. Back then, at the ripe old age of 39, it had the power of making me feel youthful, almost teenager-ish.
Today, what does holding Ron's hand mean to me. When Ron reaches out and gently takes my hand and links his fingers with mine, he is saying thank you for being my friend, thank you for being here with me, thank you for being my wife. He is also saying I will be here for you as long as possible; we will get through this together; and he is saying I love you so very much.
When I reach for Ron's hand and hold it tight I am telling him I love you will all my heart; I am here for you; we will make this journey together - hand in hand; I will support you with all my strength, heart and soul.
A peck on the cheek, a hug or simple hand holding, they all take us to the foundation of our relationship; friendship, trust, respect, honesty and unconditional love for one another.
Above all, there is a healthy dose of laughter. We laugh in the galley, we laugh on deck, we laugh in the bedroom. I don't think there is not a place where we have not found reason or conversation to make us laugh. Quite often it is at or about one another...
Never underestimate the power of a loving touch.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Visit to Cancer Clinic
Okay, perhaps it's time I said something, although at times I really don't know what to say. Janice and I went to the Cancer Clinic today, however they really didn't provide any more information or hope beyond what we already know. Although the Doctor was very nice! Time lines seem blurred and all they talk about is "average" life expectancy. Janice and I will just remain positive and keep planning things the way we usually do.
I'm glad that Janice is in my life she provides support and encouragement, is my friend, my partner, my sailing partner, my wife and so much more. This is a journey we did not plan, nor did we want, however as is our nature we will deal with it together, hand in hand. We will make sunshine were there is none, we will laugh, when others may not and most of all we will tackle this journey together.
So having said that we will start planning our trip to Disney world and then our sailing trip North. We are both positive, and do appreciate all the positive comments from our friends and family. Positive thoughts, positive life. So stay positive.
I'm glad that Janice is in my life she provides support and encouragement, is my friend, my partner, my sailing partner, my wife and so much more. This is a journey we did not plan, nor did we want, however as is our nature we will deal with it together, hand in hand. We will make sunshine were there is none, we will laugh, when others may not and most of all we will tackle this journey together.
So having said that we will start planning our trip to Disney world and then our sailing trip North. We are both positive, and do appreciate all the positive comments from our friends and family. Positive thoughts, positive life. So stay positive.
Family and Friends - You Are The Best
Each and every one of you are a part of our lives. Each and every one of you encourage us to beleive. You give us hope. We are who we are because of you.
Your emails, telephone calls and drop-in visits have been very much appreciated. You encourage us to laugh and you take our minds off the notion of what lies ahead. What can I say except THANK YOU and please stay in touch.
Please do not be offended if we do not respond to emails or phone messages immediately. Stick with us because sometimes we just do not feel like talking. Think of it as me and Ron re-charging our social batteries.
I also want to thank you for your generous donations during my fundraising campaign for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Meghan and I have raised nearly $7,000. Woot woot woot!
Your emails, telephone calls and drop-in visits have been very much appreciated. You encourage us to laugh and you take our minds off the notion of what lies ahead. What can I say except THANK YOU and please stay in touch.
Please do not be offended if we do not respond to emails or phone messages immediately. Stick with us because sometimes we just do not feel like talking. Think of it as me and Ron re-charging our social batteries.
I also want to thank you for your generous donations during my fundraising campaign for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Meghan and I have raised nearly $7,000. Woot woot woot!
San Francisco
If you did not know the trip to San Francisco was the inspiration of my daughter Meghan. She asked me to run the Nike Women's Half Marathon with her. Without giving it much thought, I said sure. Little did I know what I was getting into. Also, at that time (May 2010) we had no idea about Ron's cancer.
To get into the marathon, we had to join TNT, an organization committed to raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Furthermore, we had to commit to training and be able to run 13.1 miles or 21.1 kilometers. Do you know how far that really is????
To make a long story short, instead of flying, Ron offered to drive us down. If you know Ron, you know that our trip was planned right down to the gas and pee breaks. We had a schedule and by George, Ron would get us to San Fran on time.
Our trip down went like this: Victoria via Coho Ferry to Olympia, WA. Olympia to Yreaka, CA, Yreaka to San Fran. We were in San Fran from Friday afternoon and left on Monday morning. San Fran to Napa Valley for some wine tasting then on to Brookings OR, on the Oregon Coast. Brookings to Portland OR. Portland to Victoria. We were back home on Wednesday, Oct 20.
We managed to get some shopping done, some sight seeing in San Fran, some wine tasting in Napa and see some awesome coastline in Oregon. All done on time.
Did I mention a speeding ticket???? OOPS, I guess that just slipped out. We won't mention who was speeding but I will tell you it was not one of the females on the trip. No need to say more.
When we see you and if you want to know about the race, I will be more than happy to share my experience. I will say though, I had no idea that it would be as emotional as it was. While running for 2.5 hours, I laughed, I cried, I was encouraged by strangers and cried some more. I am proud to say I did it; I am proud to say Meghan and I were there together. I am equally as proud of Meghan for her accomplishments and her encouragement to join this incredible group of women.
If any of you need any trips planned - please call Ron. He is the ulitmate trip planner! Thank you, Husband. Meg and I appreciate all your effort.
To get into the marathon, we had to join TNT, an organization committed to raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Furthermore, we had to commit to training and be able to run 13.1 miles or 21.1 kilometers. Do you know how far that really is????
To make a long story short, instead of flying, Ron offered to drive us down. If you know Ron, you know that our trip was planned right down to the gas and pee breaks. We had a schedule and by George, Ron would get us to San Fran on time.
Our trip down went like this: Victoria via Coho Ferry to Olympia, WA. Olympia to Yreaka, CA, Yreaka to San Fran. We were in San Fran from Friday afternoon and left on Monday morning. San Fran to Napa Valley for some wine tasting then on to Brookings OR, on the Oregon Coast. Brookings to Portland OR. Portland to Victoria. We were back home on Wednesday, Oct 20.
We managed to get some shopping done, some sight seeing in San Fran, some wine tasting in Napa and see some awesome coastline in Oregon. All done on time.
Did I mention a speeding ticket???? OOPS, I guess that just slipped out. We won't mention who was speeding but I will tell you it was not one of the females on the trip. No need to say more.
When we see you and if you want to know about the race, I will be more than happy to share my experience. I will say though, I had no idea that it would be as emotional as it was. While running for 2.5 hours, I laughed, I cried, I was encouraged by strangers and cried some more. I am proud to say I did it; I am proud to say Meghan and I were there together. I am equally as proud of Meghan for her accomplishments and her encouragement to join this incredible group of women.
If any of you need any trips planned - please call Ron. He is the ulitmate trip planner! Thank you, Husband. Meg and I appreciate all your effort.
What The Heck's Been Goin' On?
Well, let me tell you. It has been quite a hectic month. Ron and I do not like to dwell on the negative side of dealing with cancer. Suffice it to say that we have had teary moments. These moments are usually followed by one of us making some smart-ass comment. These comments usually result in both of us laughing. Off hand, I cannot recall one of those moments and it doesn't matter. What matters is that we laugh a lot.
There has not been a lack of tasks or thoughts to occupy Ron's time and mind. And those of you who know Ron, know that his mind can be a wonderful thing... right???
Here is what has been keeping Ron busy:
- Coaching Janice for the San Fran Ladies Half Marathon
- Being positive
- Wondering whether to sell sailboat and purchase power boat
- Trip to Vancouver to view some power boats
- Being positive
- Wondering whether to keep current vehicle
- Being positive
- What to do in the next month
- Being postive
- What to do in the next year
- Being positive
- Going to the gym
- Being positive
- Planning road trip to San Francisco
- Spending time with Winston
It has been difficult to make any concrete plans until we visit the Cancer Clinic.
There has not been a lack of tasks or thoughts to occupy Ron's time and mind. And those of you who know Ron, know that his mind can be a wonderful thing... right???
Here is what has been keeping Ron busy:
- Coaching Janice for the San Fran Ladies Half Marathon
- Being positive
- Wondering whether to sell sailboat and purchase power boat
- Trip to Vancouver to view some power boats
- Being positive
- Wondering whether to keep current vehicle
- Being positive
- What to do in the next month
- Being postive
- What to do in the next year
- Being positive
- Going to the gym
- Being positive
- Planning road trip to San Francisco
- Spending time with Winston
It has been difficult to make any concrete plans until we visit the Cancer Clinic.
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